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 To Inspire You:
Nine Ways to Find Peace of Mind
All of us can live a fulfilling life in the middle of the turmoil.
By Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
We are an anxious nation…in fact, we are an anxious world. There is no question that uncertainty seems to have increased dramatically in the last few years. We worry about terrorism. We worry about war. We worry about losing our jobs. We worry about the dangers confronting our children. And on and on and on.
This worry is understandable, given the state of the world at the present time, but there is no question in my mind that, with the right tools…
All of us can rise above any situation that life hands us.
All of us can live a fulfilling life in the middle of the turmoil.
All of us can find a sense of peace and purpose.
In my newest book, Embracing Uncertainty, I provide the tools that I have found most effective in helping us see the world in a more life-affirming and powerful way. Here is a taste of a few of the many tools I include in the book.
1. “Un-set" your heart. Un-setting your heart means letting go of your picture of how you want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which you have no control. One of the prime causes of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with weapons of mass destruction. Yes, we all want health instead of illness. Yes, we all want healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts from our needing it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door to a more powerful way of living.
2. Create a "wondering" life instead of a "hoping" life. It helps us un-set our hearts when we replace the words "I hope" with the words "I wonder." Let me demonstrate. Instead of "I hope the war ends quickly," make it "I wonder if the war will end quickly." Instead of "I hope the stock market goes up," make it "I wonder if the stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job," make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in this simple shift. Even with difficult situations in our lives, substituting “I wonder” for “I hope” keeps our hopes from being dashed and opens up the possibility of our learning and growing from whatever happens.
3. Choose the path of trust. When you fully understand that you have little control of the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully you will choose the latter!
4. Increase your inner sense of power. One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again, "Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!" Those of you who are familiar with my work know that it is one of my favorite affirmations. I suggest you emblazon this powerful affirmation on your mind. If you say it often enough, you will ultimately believe it. And if you really believe that you can handle anything that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to fear? Nothing!
So when the "what-if's" are driving you mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it!" You'll feel a sense of confidence wash over you. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll handle it. Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!"
5. Collect "heroes" who have learned to "handle it." Heroes to me are people who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in their lives. A few heroes come to mind: Christopher Reeve, who created so much good as a result of his paralyzing accident; Viktor Frankl, who created so much good out of his experience in a concentration camp; Ram Dass, who created so much good as a result of his debilitating stroke; Marc Klaas, who created so much good after the murder of his daughter. As you collect heroes, you understand this important thought, "If they can learn and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from mine!" As you collect your heroes, your trust grows and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.
6. Focus on the learning that can come from any situation in your life. Yes, you can learn and find strength from anything that happens to you, just as the heroes mentioned above have done. I certainly learned from and found strength as a result of my own experiences with cancer and divorce. If you see ALL situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for things to be a certain way.
War............a way of learning
Peace..........a way of learning
Illness..........a way of learning
Health..........a way of learning
Poverty........a way of learning
Wealth.........a way of learning
Depression.....a way of learning
Joy.............a way of learning
So despite what is happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself "I can learn from this." When you can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad, it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in your life.
7. Embrace the thought "It's all happening perfectly." This is another affirmation I use over and over. And it truly helps me let go of my needing things to be a certain way. "Susan, how can things be happening perfectly when there is possibility of war, terrorism, illness, poverty, and violence?" My answer to that is that we cannot know the “Grand Design,” the great mystery of it all, and as we say "It's all happening perfectly," we begin looking for the good in any situation that life hands us. When we look for the good, we always find it. Yes, so much good can come from so much that is bad. In that, it truly is happening perfectly.
So when things seem very difficult in your life or in the world, just keep repeating this reassuring statement until it becomes an automatic part of your thinking. This always helps me to have trust, not only in myself, but also the Grand Design.
8. Focus on the blessings. I have learned from my heroes that, no matter how horrible life may seem on the outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice. Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice all the beauty in our lives. And train ourselves, we must…because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future.
A suggestion: As you go about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to yourself while still in the glory of the moment, "I have had this." This is the acknowledgment that "No matter what happens tomorrow, I have had this today." It is in the noticing of the little things that you truly get the feeling of a life well-lived … that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, a candy bar, a wonderful television show ….
9. Get involved. Positive action has an amazing effect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel more powerful and our fear about the future decreases considerably. Keep repeating to yourself: "My life has meaning and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world."
Then ask yourself, "What am I called to do?" Make a list of what comes to mind, and begin taking action. When you remember that your life has meaning, it makes it so much easier to push through the fear and live a life that matters. And your self-esteem grows and grows. Just as importantly, you will have found the secret of creating a joyous and fulfilling life.
As you make these tools a part of your daily life, you experience a whole new sense of purpose and power emerging from within, and you look forward to the future with an attitude of great possibility -- for yourself and for your world.
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Partnership Tips
(Observations from recent experience)
It occurred to me, as I watched the skilled trade’s workers here in Lantana, Florida, partnerships exist at virtually every level of life. And, often they are very informal and are based solely on relationships and reciprocal trust. And equally often, they do not require monetary exchange; only referrals flowing both ways. I saw this when we needed some repairs after our closing. We inquired, first with the management office. They gave us a number of contacts. They felt confident in the referrals because quality work is always recognized and rewarded.
When we needed window treatments, we noticed a firm delivering blinds to another unit in the complex. Upon inquiry, we got an excellent recommendation and as a result did business with this firm.
One day we decided to go out for an early dinner. We asked the phone man. He not only told us an excellent place frequented by all the ‘locals’, but also told us other places we should consider, and even gave us a rundown on pricing. And, his recommendations were right on target! Was this a partnership? You bet it was – his referral and the subsequent business obtained by the restaurant fits our definition perfectly!
We even discovered that a bottle of wine goes a long ways in getting special consideration for scheduling follow-up work! Again, a nice gesture and a friendly chat can pay off in real ways.
This is really how the world works best: People getting to know each other. People getting to trust each other and people doing things for each other in partnership that pays off for everyone involved.
I also noticed the opposite situation. Some tenants complain loudly about everything. When this happens and nothing done seems to be satisfactory – it is inevitable that people go first where the positive energy is – to those who do not complain, and who genuinely appreciate what they get in return. (I bet the quality of work and attention to detail are better as well)
Certainly, there is a lesson to be learned in all this. Perhaps the most important lesson is as old as the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And, I can add – the resulting payoffs will come in many forms and ways. Never miss a chance to form a partnership!
Don
If you are contemplating a partnership and want help in how to do it successfully, call or email us at:
Don Treinen & Denise Trifiletti
828-295-3369
info@d2partners.com
We are experts at partnerships because we have spent a lifetime observing, learning, applying and refining. Take advantage of what we know – you will be highly rewarded!
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Upcoming Events
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http://web.memberclicks.com/mc/community/eventList.do?orgId=wom will take you directly to all the events available from Women’s Community!
We encourage you – whether you are a businessman or businesswoman, to look into these high-powered and informative teleseminars! And, visit http://www.d2partners.com/d2p/success.shtml to read all about what they are saying about Women’s Community!
Ask Denise and Don:
Do you have a personal or professional question you would like answered? Email us your question at info@d2partners.com and we will give you a solution to your query or a resource that may assist you.
Success Stories:
Success stories from Women’s Community:
Praise for Lorraine Cohen’s Fearless – Keys to Turning Mountains into Mole Hills Teleseminar
Excellent - I loved the informal atmosphere, and the way Lorraine facilitated and invited participation. Donna Mills, Creative Clarity
Excellent teleseminar - The last 15-20 minutes were really good for me personally, as it helped reinforce some really good coping and intention setting techniques for those tough times. I do get emotional, and it re-focused me on what I need to do. Gina Garunkstis, www.ggdesigninspirations.com
Cash Flow Teleseminar Series (Presented by Specialty Leader, Angeline Huffman)
Angie's dogged approach to "you must set goals:) She does not leave you off that mark…. Great seminar! and most needed.
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Angie provides "real" scenarios. – Yarrow, www.fengshuiatthebay.com
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Great visuals and tools. ….. Excellent presentation. Marian Banker, http://primestrategies.com
Send Us Your Success Story
Send us your Success Story and we will promote you on our website and in our newsletter.
Success Stories are most impactful if written in a “PAR” Format.
P= Problem/Situation
A= Action
R= Results/Benefits (Ideally Quantified)
Email your Success Story to info@d2partners.com
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Ask Denise and Don
Do you have a personal or professional question you would like answered? Email me your question at info@d2partners.com and I will give you a solution to your query or a resource who may assist you.
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Success Stories
Success stories from Women’s Community:
Praise for Lorraine Cohen’s Fearless – Keys to Turning Mountains into Mole Hills Teleseminar
Excellent - I loved the informal atmosphere, and the way Lorraine facilitated and invited participation. Donna Mills, Creative Clarity
Excellent teleseminar - The last 15-20 minutes were really good for me personally, as it helped reinforce some really good coping and intention setting techniques for those tough times. I do get emotional, and it re-focused me on what I need to do. Gina Garunkstis, www.ggdesigninspirations.com
Cash Flow Teleseminar Series (Presented by Specialty Leader, Angeline Huffman)
Angie's dogged approach to "you must set goals:) She does not leave you off that mark…. Great seminar! and most needed.
---------------------------------------
Angie provides "real" scenarios. – Yarrow, www.fengshuiatthebay.com
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Great visuals and tools. ….. Excellent presentation. Marian Banker, http://primestrategies.com
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Send Us Your Success Story
Send us your Success Story and we will promote you on our website and in our newsletter.
Success Stories are most impactful if written in a "PAR" Format.
P= Problem/Situation
A= Action
R= Results/Benefits (Ideally Quantified)
Email your Success Story to info@d2partners.com
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D2P News
Our website has additional partner companies added. You can go to the home page, http://www.d2partners.com to see the latest ones. We are especially excited about AudioAcrobat, which is a service that you can sign up for and get the first 30 days as a free trial! AudioAcrobat provides a way to add audio to your emails, your website, and your ezines. You can also get video added, and they have a podcasting offer which allows you to reach literally thousands of people worldwide!
Click http://womenscommunity.audioacrobat.com right now to see it, and to sign up for your free 30-day trial!
We are also partnering with Legalzoom.com and will have all our links for you to access their services in our June 2006 newsletter. Watch for it next month!
We are now set up and operational at our Florida location – in addition to our North Carolina location. To reach us, please use our Blowing Rock numbers (voice and fax) below, or email us at denise@d2partners.com or don@d2partners.com. Phone numbers are always forwarded when we are away from the North Carolina address.
Our mailing address:
P.O. Box 2127
Blowing Rock, NC 28605-2127
Phone: 828-295-3369
Fax: 828-295-3125
Cell: 410-533-8834 (Don) and 410-533-7351 (Denise)
Do you need facilitation services? Don can help you, either in-person or virtually. Just give us a call or drop us an email – 828-295-3369 or don@d2partners.com.
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Are You Interested in Speaking?
Are You Looking for a Speaker?
Dynamic Destiny Partnerships has both formal and informal relationships with a number of organizations and individuals that sometimes look for speakers on various topics. If you are interested in such an opportunity, please provide us with the following information at info@d2partners.com
- Your name, title and company/organization name
- Your mailing address, phone contact number, email and website
- Topics you can speak on
We make no commitment that a speaking opportunity will arise, but will let you know when one does. It will then be up to you to let us know if you have an interest. Once you express an interest, we will provide you with the specific contact information you will need to arrange the speaking engagement.
Are you interested in having us address your group? We work with individuals and organizations that are looking to take their business to the next level. We are partnership experts and can share our experiences and success strategies on how to build and sustain effective partnerships for mutual gain. Contact us at info@d2partners.com
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Free Info:
There are two ways to get the free stuff we bring to you. You can click on our home page button Free Info,
http://www.d2partners.com/d2p/free-info.shtml or if you refer at least 3 friends who enroll in our newsletter or purchase our products or services, you will receive a complimentary copy of the book: Create the Business Breakthrough you want; Secrets & Strategies from the Worlds Greatest Mentors, Brian Tracy, mark Victor Hansen, Robert G. Allen, Denise Trifiletti & Don Treinen, et al.
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Be sure to visit our website to see the new affiliates we are adding!
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Newsletter Content Notice:
© Dynamic Destiny Partnerships, LLC. This newsletter is intended for mass distribution, and we encourage you to forward to any other forums or newsgroups whom you believe will benefit from its content provided that you adhere to the following:
You may use the unaltered content of this newsletter, in whole or in part, as long you provide full and complete attribution to this source, as set forth below, including the website link; and provided that you send notice of your intent to use material to info@d2partners.com
Copy and Paste this Attribution to any and all Newsletter content used for any commercial or revenue producing purpose:
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click
to enlarge
Create the Business Breakthrough You Want: Secrets
and Strategies from The World's Greatest Mentors.
Brian Tracy, Mark Victor Hansen, Robert Allen, Denise Trifiletti,
Donald Treinen, et al. 2004 Mission Publishing
Book
Review | Purchase
Book only $19.95
Reprinted from Create the Business
Breakthrough You Want: Secrets and Strategies from the World's
Greatest Mentors (c) 2004 Mission Publishing, a division of The
Mission Marketing Mentors, Inc.
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