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 To Inspire You:
A Seat in the Front Row
'After a life of abuse, addiction, and gangbanging, I decided to get my life together and go to college. But would I succeed?'
By Cupcake Brown
When Cupcake Brown (yes, that's her real name) was 11 years old, her mom passed away after suffering a seizure. This tragic event propelled Brown's downward spiral into a life of physical and sexual abuse (often at the hands of foster families), drug addiction, rape, prostitution, gangbanging, homelessness, and more. Today, Brown is an attorney with a major law firm, an author, and a speaker. The following is an excerpt from her book, " A Piece of Cake: A Memoir," which chronicles her horrific life and amazing transformation from victim to success story. Here she describes her experience of starting college at 27, right after getting clean from drugs and alcohol.
 The first night of class, Ken let me leave work early; actually, he insisted. He said I’d need the extra time to find my class. Boy, was he right—the campus seemed much bigger and more complicated to navigate than before. After asking for directions five times, and going to the wrong class three times, I finally found mine. I walked in and went straight to the back row. I sat in the room, silent, scared, and unsure if I belonged there. I didn’t talk to anyone and hoped no one talked to me. They didn’t. I think my defensive posture and antisocial grimace kept them from doing so. The teacher, an unassuming white man, walked in, took the roll, and immediately jumped into "instruction" by telling us to open our books to the first chapter. Although I’d had my book for a week, I’d never opened it. I was afraid to. I didn’t know why, or what I was afraid of. I just knew that I was scared. So the first night of class was the first time I’d opened the book. I was stunned at what I saw. The first chapter literally started with "1 + 1."
One plus one? Twenty-seven years old and I’m starting at one plus one? My embarrassment hit an all-time high. I wanted to run; I wanted to scream; I wanted to cry. But I didn’t. I couldn’t because I kept hearing my damn family in my head:
This is a positive. Now we know where to start you.
You can only go up from there.
The best place to start is the beginning!
So I fought the urge to run and stayed put. Though, I’m not going to lie, it was very difficult to do so. As I looked around the room, I couldn’t help but notice that I was surrounded by kids much younger than me—most were straight out of high school. And it seemed as though they had a lot more free time than I did; I had responsibilities they didn’t have, like work, groceries, rent. I started to think that maybe I had too many responsibilities to go to school. Momma Chaney squashed that idea instantly by reminding me that it was only fear that created that notion and pointed out that many people work and go to school. So I continued. And so did the problems.
I had a problem with humility. Out of habit, I automatically sat at the back of the class (cool kids always sat in the back). The problem was that I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on, so I always had questions. But I rarely asked them because of the derision I saw in the faces of the other students and the snickers I heard. Obviously, they thought my questions were stupid and the last thing I wanted to be was stupid. When I shared this dilemma with V, she suggested I sit in the very first row.
"That way, you won’t hear the snickers in the back and you won’t be able to see the faces."
Me, "Ms. Cool," in the first row? I’d never, ever, sat in the front of the class, let alone the first row. I tried to think of alternatives, but it was apparent that I had no other choice. So the next class, I found myself sitting in the front, and feeling very, very out of place. Nevertheless, to my surprise, it worked. Since I was in the front, I was able to raise my hand as often as I wanted and ask as many questions as I wanted, all the while oblivious to whatever reaction was taking place behind me.
And, you still "cool"! I teased myself.
From that day forward, I always sat in the first row.
This is a nice and inspirational message. It is from a safe source and will provide both soothing music and soothing visuals. Enjoy!
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Partnership Tips
Our article this month is another one of those “Aha” moments. Sometimes in our business, we think about partnerships so much we take them for granted. We shouldn’t do that, and you shouldn’t either. Not a good idea!
We have often talked about shared risk and shared reward. We want to spend a little time on both concepts.
Shared risk is when everyone involved in the partnership assumes some risk on the way to reward. Risk comes in many forms. The most obvious is financial risk. You make an investment in the partnership and you risk that over the long haul, the monetary reward will be greater than the investment. We think this is the easiest risk to understand, and we also think it is the one that most people accept with equal ease.
But what about non-financial risks? What about the time you put into the effort? What about the skills you bring to the partnership? What about all the things you have to do you really would rather not do? Such things can be what causes a partnership to come undone. We know the process of setting up a partnership MUST take these factors into consideration. The best way we know to do this is to work together in establishing the shared goals, the shared roles and responsibilities, the shared operating principles by which you both will work, and finally, the winning measures you will share. But, in addition, you each need to be clear and specific about what you as an individual will contribute in non-financial terms. We have seen, and we have experienced situations where a partnership goes sour because these factors were not openly discussed, or if they were, not understood by both parties in the same way.
Rewards are actually more than those that are shared. They include rewards that flow to each partner individually. Again, financial rewards are easiest to understand – but financial rewards do not stand alone. Each person in a partnership has his or her own measure of the value of non-financial rewards. They may be in satisfaction. They may be in recognition. They may be in the form of additional opportunities. Whatever form they take, most assuredly they will be valued differently by both parties. The key is to make sure that your non-financial rewards are satisfactory to you. You know your hot buttons and those things that turn you off. Maximize what charges you up; minimize what deflates you. And help your partner do the same. What this often comes down to is negotiations between partners. Make sure everyone involves gets some of the tedious and unglamorous jobs; and also some of the plumb assignments. Just remember, in a partnership if you and your partner are not connected to all aspects of the business, you will not be committed to all aspects of the partnership. Its that simple.
Suppose four people are in a partnership with each contributing 25% of the financial risk and reaping 25% of the financial reward. Pretty straight forward, right? But what happens if one or two of the four find themselves doing work they dislike, and having nothing they enjoy, to counterbalance? What happens if the other two partners get all the really good assignments, get the public exposure, get the public recognition, and get the new opportunities? Clearly, when the net profits are divided four ways, it is equal. But just as clearly, when the duties and rewards are not equitably shared, there will be trouble in paradise!
These are factors in a partnership you ignore at your own risk. Don’t do it!
If you are contemplating a partnership and want help in how to do it successfully, call or email us at:
Don Treinen & Denise Trifiletti
828-295-3369
info@d2partners.com
We are experts at partnerships because we have spent a lifetime observing, learning, applying and refining. Take advantage of what we know – you will be highly rewarded!
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Upcoming Events
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http://web.memberclicks.com/mc/community/eventList.do?orgId=wom will take you directly to all the events available from Women’s Community!
We encourage you – whether you are a businessman or businesswoman, to look into these high-powered and informative teleseminars! And, visit http://www.d2partners.com/d2p/success.shtml to read all about what they are saying about Women’s Community!
The Power of Strategic Alliances - Hosted by Lorraine Cohen and Denise Trifiletti. Join us June 22, 12-1pm EST to discuss how collaboration, joint ventures, and strategic alliances will help you grow your business and your relationships. Register for this F*R*E*E Teleseminar by sending an email to denise@womenscommunity.com
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Ask Denise and Don
Do you have a personal or professional question you would like answered? Email me your question at info@d2partners.com and I will give you a solution to your query or a resource who may assist you.
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Success Stories
We don’t toot our own horn too often, but this letter from a Specialist in Women’s Community touched us deeply, and we want to share it with you.
Denise, last night was excellent – I am really proud of you and how eloquent and skilled you are. You really did a fabulous job facilitating the call last night – I was impressed with your agenda and the info covered. I can feel your devotion to the business.
Anita Pathik-Law
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Send Us Your Success Story
Send us your Success Story and we will promote you on our website and in our newsletter.
Success Stories are most impactful if written in a "PAR" Format.
P= Problem/Situation
A= Action
R= Results/Benefits (Ideally Quantified)
Email your Success Story to info@d2partners.com
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D2P News
Last month we told you about Legalzoom.com as a new affiliate partner. We now have all their links on our website and you can get to them all at the same time by clicking http://www.d2partners.com/d2p/free-info.shtml and scrolling to the section titled Legal Services. Do it right now and see what all you can get help with!
As a reminder, we are now set up and operational at our Florida location – in addition to our North Carolina location. To reach us, please use our Blowing Rock numbers (voice and fax) below, or email us at denise@d2partners.com or don@d2partners.com. Phone numbers are always forwarded when we are away from the North Carolina address.
We are also in the process of forming our Limited Liability Company in the State of Florida.
Our mailing address:
P.O. Box 2127
Blowing Rock, NC 28605-2127
Phone: 828-295-3369
Fax: 828-295-3125
Cell: 410-533-8834 (Don) and 410-533-7351 (Denise)
Do you need facilitation services? Don can help you, either in-person or virtually. Just give us a call or drop us an email – 828-295-3369 or don@d2partners.com.
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Are You Interested in Speaking?
Are You Looking for a Speaker?
Dynamic Destiny Partnerships has both formal and informal relationships with a number of organizations and individuals that sometimes look for speakers on various topics. If you are interested in such an opportunity, please provide us with the following information at info@d2partners.com
- Your name, title and company/organization name
- Your mailing address, phone contact number, email and website
- Topics you can speak on
We make no commitment that a speaking opportunity will arise, but will let you know when one does. It will then be up to you to let us know if you have an interest. Once you express an interest, we will provide you with the specific contact information you will need to arrange the speaking engagement.
Are you interested in having us address your group? We work with individuals and organizations that are looking to take their business to the next level. We are partnership experts and can share our experiences and success strategies on how to build and sustain effective partnerships for mutual gain. Contact us at info@d2partners.com
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Free Info:
There are two ways to get the free stuff we bring to you. You can click on our home page button Free Info,
http://www.d2partners.com/d2p/free-info.shtml or if you refer at least 3 friends who enroll in our newsletter or purchase our products or services, you will receive a complimentary copy of the book: Create the Business Breakthrough you want; Secrets & Strategies from the Worlds Greatest Mentors, Brian Tracy, mark Victor Hansen, Robert G. Allen, Denise Trifiletti & Don Treinen, et al.
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Earn Revenues by becoming a “Power Partner”Affiliate:
Become one of our “Power Partner” Affiliates and earn a commission on our products or services.
Be sure to visit our website to see the new affiliates we are adding!
Click here for full details.
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Classifieds:
Our sponsors and advertisers help bring you the information contained in our newsletter. Please support them whenever you can. Though we do our best to screen out advertisers we find to be objectionable or deceptive, we cannot assure the accuracy or legitimacy of every advertiser. If you encounter a problem, please report it to us immediately, at info@d2partners.com.
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We never rent, trade, sell or give away our email list to anyone for any reason. You will never get an unsolicited email as a result of joining this list. How did you get on this list? You or someone you know subscribed you. We never add names to our list except by voluntarily opting in.
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Click here to sign up for our free "Power of Partnerships™" newsletter and receive a free chapter from Create the Business Breakthrough You Want. Secrets and Strategies From the World's Greatest Mentors. 2004.
Learn the proven formulas (ASK and GROW) for building partnerships, which help you GROW your sales and business.
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Newsletter Content Notice:
© Dynamic Destiny Partnerships, LLC. This newsletter is intended for mass distribution, and we encourage you to forward to any other forums or newsgroups whom you believe will benefit from its content provided that you adhere to the following:
You may use the unaltered content of this newsletter, in whole or in part, as long you provide full and complete attribution to this source, as set forth below, including the website link; and provided that you send notice of your intent to use material to info@d2partners.com
Copy and Paste this Attribution to any and all Newsletter content used for any commercial or revenue producing purpose:
By Dynamic Destiny Partnerships, LLC. Please visit www.d2partners.com for additional information on how to ASK™, GROW™ and get greater RESULTS™ through the "Power of Partnerships.™”
NOTE: This permission is restricted solely to Newsletter content. All other materials on this website, unless specified otherwise, are subject the full copyright protection
© 2004 Dynamic Destiny Partnerships, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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click
to enlarge
Create the Business Breakthrough You Want: Secrets
and Strategies from The World's Greatest Mentors.
Brian Tracy, Mark Victor Hansen, Robert Allen, Denise Trifiletti,
Donald Treinen, et al. 2004 Mission Publishing
Book
Review | Purchase
Book only $19.95
Reprinted from Create the Business
Breakthrough You Want: Secrets and Strategies from the World's
Greatest Mentors (c) 2004 Mission Publishing, a division of The
Mission Marketing Mentors, Inc.
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